Christian Community Networking

 Hasani Pettiford, author/speaker

How Important Is Physical Attraction?

The basis of any date, courtship, or relationship is basic physical attraction and emotional desirability. If you are not attracted to someone and they are not attracted to you, you have just become friends. You both must be physically attracted on some level to make things work. Yes, spiritual attraction, deep respect and friendship all play a part in the long run but in the first few minutes of meeting we instantly recognize whether there is an attraction and chemistry present between us.

Unfortunately, there is a population of people who believe that looks don’t matter. They feel it is what’s inside that counts.” But, for many, the need for attractiveness not only helps initiate a relationship, but it helps maintain it.

It is a fact that humans are drawn to beauty. We seek beauty in nature, art and pretty much everything else; that is just how we’re wired. Researchers have even found that babies respond more positively to attractive people. Babies haven't been acculturated to learn what our popular culture considers attractive, but they still respond to beauty.

A recent study found that physical beauty is the highest priority for men in choosing a mate (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences by Peter Todd, of Indiana University). The same study found that women placed physical attraction second only to how much money a man has. So, as you can see, physical appearance is high on a woman’s list of desirables in a relationship as well.

Most agree that body shape and weight, choice of clothing, hair style, makeup, and personal hygiene come together to make a person physically attractive. In a poll that I personally conducted, I asked a group of men and women the following two question: 1) What should men focus on in order to become more physically attractive to women? 2) What should women focus on in order to become more physically attractive to men? The findings were very telling.

Female Responses:

■Stomach: Why do a lot of men hit 40 years old and look like their nine months pregnant

■Men with male boobs are not a good look

■Oral hygiene: Brush your teeth and make sure that your breath is pleasant

■Muscular and toned: Keep your arms looking good

■Grooming: Remain clean cut and shaven

■Manicures: Unless you’re a pimp, cut your nails

■Clothing: Wear fashionable clothing. Wash and iron your clothes before you put them on

■Wash, scrub and use deodorant

Male Responses:

■Smile: Not only is it physically appealing, it’s an indication of your attitude and personality

■A consistent manicure & pedicure

■Clothing: no cleavage hanging out or pants causing yeast infections.

■Hair: NO WEAVES, Allow a man to fall in love with the natural woman that you are.

■Maintain a healthy weight and exercise daily

If both men and women take the time to consider the aforementioned list and make the appropriate adjustments, they will successfully move one step forward in the dating game.

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